On Telling Your Story: Finding Home 3.2
Happy Monday and happy spring, from my rainy little corner of the world! First things first… congrats to Bailey Gillespie! She won a fresh new copy of Emily Freeman’s The Next Right Thing from my little Instagram giveaway! That was fun. Let’s do this again sometime.
Welcome to April's Tiny Letter, where I share a little bit about the thing I should be working on (the deadline is Saturday lol), why writing your spiritual autobiography is a great practice for everyone, plus links to things I've written in the past month and 5 things I'm loving right now.
Here's a secret about writing: they say write what you know, but sometimes the more you know and the closer you are to the story, the harder it is to write.
Since October, I've been taking a class called Transformational Listening: Soul Care Companions. I've casually referenced this in my writing here and there, but perhaps never told you much detail about what it is. A small cohort of folks from my church gather once a month to learn about soul care and spiritual friendship. We read a book a month and discuss it. We learn about some new aspect of reflective listening and spiritual practice. And then we may try out a contemplative practice, or one or two people will share their spiritual autobiography, their personal story of life following Jesus.
It's a beautiful three hours every month. And it aligns with so many of the movements in my own heart and things I get excited about.
And well, here we are. Six months in, I can't put off sharing my story any longer. We have a class on Saturday, and it’s my turn to share my story.
A definition from the Pax Center:
"A Spiritual autobiography is the story of God’s interaction in our lives rather than simply a recounting of events... The invitation is to notice and recognize where God has been present with you, and how you have responded to God’s presence in the different circumstances and seasons of your life."
I'm not exactly a stranger to this. I'm a writer. Finding the narrative is is what I do, y'all. I edit for clarity, while searching for the right details and places to land the story. I've written essays about doubt, prayer, baptism. I've journaled hundreds of pages, thousands of words to work out my faith.
Sometimes, I've felt like a passive follower of Jesus. Sometimes I've felt like I'm chasing him. And sometimes, I've felt like I'm sitting at a bus stop, waiting for him to meet me there and wondering if he got lost on the way.
So, one day last week, I sat down to start writing my autobiography. Easy. I can do this. The great sage Anne Lamott wrote in her famous book of writing advice to “start with your childhood,” and this is indeed where I start.
But before long, the screen is overflowing. Childhood isn't too hard to cover. I grew up in a Christian home and got baptized when I was six. But what about my teen years, when I was almost equally obsessed with Jesus and 90s Christian pop music? When I strongly considered getting a purity ring? (I didn't, for the record.) When I was the youngest woman learning how to exegete in Wednesday morning Bible Study but didn't really know how to talk to people my age because I probably secretly thought I was better than them? (gross, but true)
Okay. Teen years are done. Now… what about college? What about getting confronted with new ideas, and figuring out how to respond? What about building my career in Christian radio, and that weird time when I realized I low-key hated most of the songs we played? When I first felt jaded about Christian consumerism? What about wrestling with doubt, rediscovering grace, finding my voice?
I'm only 35. How in the world does anyone with more life lived figure out how to write a story like this?
It feels so long. So boring. I'll have to cut some things. I'll have to compress some time.
Then I wonder… is the exercise itself the point? Is it less about sharing my story with my class and more about telling it again to myself?
Faithfulness comes up over and over, and as I draw the map of my life, I can see it as the road that connects all of these places.
Somehow, even when I found myself going through the motions or questioning what I believed or getting disillusioned -- somehow, even then, something called me back to the road. Somehow I feel the companionship of Jesus, the quiet leading of hope, the warm presence of a friend along the way.
Faithfulness, both in my own wobbly steps and Jesus’ steady, gentle lead.
***
I remember when I was a teenager, I thought I didn't have much of a story. "Testimonies" usually began with something intense and foreign to my good Christian kid brain -- drugs or atheism or whatever -- and ended with "but I found Jesus, and it's so much better now!" It never occurred to me to envy those stories. I didn't actually want the dramatic part. But I also didn't think my story had a lot to say. "Good Christian homeschool girl got baptized when she was 6 and is doing just fine" might have summed it up.
Another 20 years down the road and... my story still isn't dramatic. But it's mine. And it's good to reflect with gratitude and look ahead with wonder.
And so, here's something for you:
What if you wrote your own spiritual autobiography this month? (even if you don't have a deadline staring you down or the expectation to share it) It's a good practice for anyone, wherever you are, whether you're a writer or not. And all of it matters.
And then hey, maybe share it with someone. I'm willing to listen... you can always reply to this email and share it with me. It would be an honor to hear your story.
THINGS I WROTE IN MARCH
Last month, we took a spring break vacation in Florida (Yes, I am the kind of person that goes to Florida for spring break now, weird.) and I came home and wrote this reflection for Five Minute Friday. Come for the stories, stay for the vacation pics.
My full-length review of The Next Right Thing is up! Perhaps less of a "this is why you should buy this book" review and more of a personal story about what reading it means to me in this time of life.
Continuing to fill you in on all the good books I read this year! If you're looking to add to your TBR list, check out Books I Loved for February and March! (BTW, I've recently joined the Amazon Affiliates program, soooooo.... if a book from one of these posts catches your eye, buy it from my blog post and I get a tiny commission to support my writing. I promise, I only recommend stuff I actually enjoyed. :))
Ah, mawage... I wrote a little fun piece for CCM Magazine on 5 Favorite Husband-and-Wife Duos in Christian music, as well as a review for Amanda Lindsey Cook's new record House on a Hill (if atmospheric worship music is your jam, check it out!
5 THINGS I LOVE RIGHT NOW
1) Mission Cold Brew - Fall River isn’t exactly known for its coffee scene. But this new place for cold brew coffee and tea just opened, and it is SO GOOD. Plus, 10% of every sale and 100% of their year end profit is donated to organizations that impact poverty, hunger, clean water access, fighting human trafficking, and orphan and foster care. (Right now they’re supporting IJM.) I am a fan.
2) Prayer: 40 Days of Practice - A beautiful little book of art, prayers, and spiritual exercises, by artist Scott Erickson and writer Justin McRoberts. This is more of a “dip in and reflect” book than a “read straight through” book, so it hasn’t popped up in any of my book blog posts. But I can’t not mention it. So beautiful.
3) This second day hair spray - Finding a hair stylist in New England has, weirdly, been a struggle, so I went to my beloved Aveda salon while we were visiting Florida. And lo, I got the best haircut I’ve had in almost 5 years AND she introduced me to this magical product. Sure, it kinda smells like natural bug spray, but it helps my hair stay curly on non-shampoo days, so I WILL TAKE IT. (If it repels bugs too... um... bon
4) Music: This EP from Laden Valley (aka our friend Evan) was on regular repeat while we drove all over Central Florida. Also, Carly Rae Jepsen has some new songs out (and a forthcoming album) so I can confidently predict my 2019 summer jam…
5) I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… my new toothbrush. I got a Quip, and it is wonderful. It’s so gentle and has a built in timer to make sure you brush each quadrant long enough and omg, this sounds so nerdy but I don’t care having clean teeth makes me happy. (Here's my referral link, if you're into toothbrushes too.)
Thanks, as always, for reading. Feel free to hit reply and say hello! Wishing you a beautiful Easter season.
~Jen
jenroseyokel.com